How To Finally Quit Candy Crush And More Ways To Kick Unwanted Habits
What to do: Replace the bad habit with a good one or at least one that's more benign.
Since you've already trained your brain to respond a certain way in a certain situation (wake up, drink coffee), you can "trick" it by directing it to respond to the same situation with a slightly different activity (wake up, drink green tea).
What habit it helps break: Substitution can probably help you quit Candy Crush for good, says Jamie Madigan, PhD, a psychologist who writes about the overlap between psychology and video games. There are many reasons why this game is uniquely addictive: mandatory time outs that make you long to keep playing, one handed controls that let you play anywhere, notifications that nudge you to sign in and the ability to compete against Facebook friends. But all of these tricks wouldn't matter as much if Candy Crush didn't have so many levels upwards of 500, bracelet pandora price at last count. You start playing while waiting to check out at the supermarket and keep playing after you get home, on and off for the rest of the night. Instead, find something else to help you pass the time in line ideally, a productive habit like logging your exercise on your phone. At the very least, Madigan suggests switching from Candy Crush to a more traditional game that is easier to beat (so, not Angry Birds) or a game that requires real time interaction from a friend, who can alert you when it's time to stop playing and say, "Go to sleep!"
What to do: Start by asking yourself, "Why do I do this, anyway?" Sure, because you're bored, but what else is happening? Where are you? Who are you with? What do you see, smell or pandora bracelet necklace hear? That's your trigger, and let's call it X. The next time X happens (because it will you cannot rid the world of coworkers bearing baked goods, for example), you need to be ready. You need to have a plan to combat it. That's your Y. Repeatedly remind yourself: "If X happens, I will do Y."
Why it works: You're reminding yourself of your resolution out loud, and often. Research on both humans and animals suggests that even after bad habits seem to have disappeared, they still lie dormant, waiting to be reactivated, says Dean. If you have a plan for how to deal with that situation, you won't be taken by surprise and default to your old frenemy, the bad habit.
What to do: Use a calendar or chart to track how many days you can go habit free. Reward yourself for weeklong winning streaks in a small but meaningful way.
Why it works: It's human nature to appreciate a gold foil star or a "good job!" Psychologists know this, and so do kindergarten teachers and proactive moms who wallpaper the bathroom with behavior charts. It's also the idea behind Happify, a new emotional wellness app that helps people build happiness habits via interactive games. Members earn medals by completing activities to help them develop skills like "cope better with stress." Happify's developers have found that users who receive a gold medal in their first set of activities (like a game that makes you quickly react to positive words while avoiding negative ones) go on to complete 48 percent more activities than those who receive a silver medal. That's why Happify, pandora charms australia cheap like many games, starts you out with shorter levels and easier goals that help you quickly rack up gold medals. And being constantly reminded of your medal winning prowess motivates you to sign up to develop more skills (a win win for both the user and the developers).
What habits it helps break: Habits that cost you money, like buying coffee at the caf, because you can put the cash you've save each time you make the drink at home toward something else that you enjoylike renting an old movie (Goldfinger, On Golden Pond or Fool's Gold come to mind).
What to do: Accept failure (at first).
Why it works: There's a depressing irony to the way habits work: The more you try not to think about them, the more they dominate your thoughts. This has been proven time and again in different experiments where people were instructed not to think about white bears, or cigarettes, or disturbing emotional memories, or their favorite food. In all cases, the people in the studies began thinking about these things even more than before. The mind starts an unconscious monitoring process to check if you're still thinking about the verboten subject, writes Dean, and then anything that looks vaguely like it triggers the thought again ("That crumpled tissue reminds me ofa white bear"). This may be why people sometimes find that when they first try to change a habit, they actually start doing it more, Dean explains. The resulting disappointment often sends them deeper into the clutches of their vice. Dean suggests viewing this as a "just a phase" in the larger process of breaking a habit but a phase with an end in sight.
What habits it helps break: Smoking. Surveys show that it takes the average smoker five to seven attempts to kick the habit for good, which is more than double what most smokers would anticipate.
What to do: Keep telling yourself how your life will improve once you're no longer oversnacking or picking or procrastinating. At the same time, remind yourself how unhealthy, unnecessary, distracting or just plain annoying your habit is and how badly you want to change it.
Why it works: It raises the stakes. The more relevant and vivid you can make the negative thoughts of the bad habit, the more likely you are to exercise self control, writes Dean. These mental caricatures serve as reminders to keep you on track. Multiple experiments have shown that those who attach strong feelings to a habit are more motivated to change than are those who treat the habit like it's no big deal.
What habits it helps break: Start with things that gross you out when you're not the one doing them (like nail biting, hair chewing). They're easier to visualize and harder to justify to yourself, since you've already seen on others that those habits are unattractive.
In North America, personal space is at a premium. Said space feels even smaller when the freelance economy has many of us working remotely and therefore carrying our lives with us like free WiFi seeking pack llamas. Which is why it seems like every time you get into an elevator or on a plane or in line at Starbucks, you are bound to be pummeled by a laptop case (or three). Between people's duffel size handbags, the purse imitating dog carriers and the rolling suitcase of the business traveler, it's a miracle we get through any day without getting bonked into. Next time you get clocked with the nunchuk like edge of a MacBook Air, think of all the times you've inadvertently done the same thing to someone else with your own unwieldy bundle. Now, head out into your own allotted part of the universe with an awareness of how much space you take up bag of all earthly possessions included.
You know how your grandmother's condo in Florida is a sauna, in a way that makes the Everglades feel refreshing? She's 95, so it's okay. If you are not 95, then it is not okay to inflict your preferences in temperature, lighting and air freshener on innocent passersby. Dear always freezing coworker huddled by a space heater: Look around. Are your cubemates sweating? Could you battle your building's overenthusiastic air conditioning by wearing a sweater instead? Sensitive eyeballed shift manager: Maybe you could try tinted glasses rather than turning down all the lights so that your entire staff is afraid they're going to go blind. Yes, we all have our sensitivities and they aren't all the same, so it might be helpful to remember that your solution may become someone else's problem.
We get it. You're busy. Everyone's too busy, and as a recent New York Times piece suggests, we're addicted to the buzz of busy ness. It's the human condition to think our busy is busier than anyone else's. Still, even someone who is not nearly as busy as you are is mired in some kind of multitasking life.
What with the modern multitude of ways to take photos, make them look amazing and share them while waiting breathlessly for instant approval, we've all become veritable Cindy Shermans. Yes, it is possible to make the world envy your beautiful breakfast, your good hair day, your super biggest most fun ever night. But when you're missing the fireworks because you're forcing a friend to take "candid" after "candid" after "candid" of you with your iPhone so that you remember the moment you actually missed while posing for the picture it might be time to stop clicking. Or since who can actually do that try carrying a film camera around. In addition to being how much pandora bracelet an anachronistic conversation piece, it will give you a way to record a moment the way it is (closed eyes, weird shadows and all) and keep going, without editing your life story as you go.
There are fewer questions less answerable than "What can I do to help?" It's bad enough when lobbed at a harried hostess, but even more unanswerable for someone who's really struggling. The urge to ask is understandable: Chances are, you don't know what someone who has suffered a terrible loss or is struggling with some unthinkable disease has gone through. So you ask the question 47 times, and when the person doesn't have a response, you throw your hands up and think, "Well, I tried." And here's the thing: You do get friend credit for trying. But you get even more for actually doing. Are they not responding to calls but seem happy to get emails? Are they drop in averse? Start with asmall, concrete way to make the day easier, whether it's having groceries delivered or coming over to walk her dog, and do it in the least obtrusive manner possible.
You had the nicest time at the dinner party/playdate/poker night, which took three months and an online poll to schedule, and so upon leaving, you exclaim, "We have to get together again soon maybe even next week. Call me!" What you meant to say is, "How much fun was that?!" or "I so loved seeing you," but without meaning to, you've turned a pleasantry into an obligation. Emphasize in your goodbye what you really felt the joy part and if you actually do want to see the person again soon, you can extend a specific invitation.
This may by the most helpful email you'll ever need, so feel free to copy and paste it:
Thanks for your email! I got it and will respond later, when I'm not walking down the street staring at my iPhone like a technologically overfed nincompoop.
Or something along those lines. Here's why we're giving ourselves this reminder: We all thought, when we got our first smartphones, that they would make it so much easier to keep up with our email.
Never did we think we would stumble into the smartphone email abyss, wherein one sees a message on one's phone, one thinks that the well thought out and non thumb typed response will happen later, and then one completely forgets about the email, which no longer shows up as unread. Meanwhile, the sender of the original email thinks you've fallen off the face of the planet. A quick acknowledgement, an even quicker evening scan of the day's emails (mark things as "unread" if you need a reminder that the real response is still due) and we're good.
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